The Atypical Bride-to-Be: I’m Ready, But He’s Not

September 11, 2018 by Michelle Harris
   

No, you didn’t misread that headline—I am ready (for the wedding I didn’t want) and he is not. This is very reminiscent of our everyday lives. I’m always waiting for him. Can you imagine the frustration I am feeling? He wanted all of this and yet has made no move to prepare himself for it. It’s madness!

I have my dress, two pairs of shoes, a jacket, hair and makeup appointments booked, and bridesmaids all squared away. But he hasn’t even purchased a pair of socks. We are about four months away and he hasn’t decided what he wants to wear . . . Lord, give me strength.

My type-A personality traits are definitely shining through and he seems to have no regard for my sanity during this process. I’ve made at least four spreadsheets, I’m using two different wedding planning apps, and I have checklists galore. Meanwhile his response to me asking, “Have you and you guys ordered suits yet?” is a simple shoulder shrug.

I know you’re all probably wondering why I’m so neurotic about this considering I never wanted this type of wedding to begin with. But you have to understand something about me: I’m an extremely organized person, so much that it physically pains me to be late or last minute about anything. We balance each other out in that way, but right now I’m on the verge of strangling him if he doesn’t get it together. No, I’m not going to actually choke him, no need to call the authorities—just figuratively strangle him.

I’ve tried several different ways to emphasize the importance of time management and getting the small things out of the way, but nothing seems to be working.

I’ve tried calmly speaking to him in a leveled voice like, “Hey there babe, so we are getting closer to the date and the very specific items you have your eye on are selling out quickly. Maybe you want to get that stuff now?”

No luck.

I’ve also tried a very direct approach, like, “Dude, you need to get this stuff now or else you’ll be wearing jeans and a T-shirt at the altar.”

Nope.

And I’ve also tried the blasé approach: “Look, me and my girls will look good regardless of what you and your guys do. Just know that if you look janky, you will not be in any of the photos.”

Nada!

Nothing seems to be working. I need help! Suggestions are strongly welcomed. I just want to make sure that, by December 1, the only thing we are focused on is figuring out how I’m going to pee in my wedding dress.

   


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